Her Packing List

This one’s (primarily) for the ladies: Have you ever agonized about where to keep your money and credit cards while traveling to keep them safe from pickpockets? Have you ever wondered how money belts or other under-your-clothing security wallets work?

I just wrote a guest review for Brooke Schoenman at Her Packing List describing my experience with the Bra Stash Personal Security Wallet. I was driven to try this product on my trip to Spain after reading countless reviews of rampant pickpocketing there. Let’s just say it didn’t quite work out as I’d imagined. You can read the article here. And while you’re over there, poke around a bit. At Her Packing List, Brooke reviews all sorts of travel gear for women, so if you are planning for long-terms travels and wonder which products are absolutely essential and which you can do without, you may find the answer there.

Stash it in your Bra? is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

A new friend I met from India while traveling in Puerto Rico

International Women’s Day is a global holiday celebrated on March 8 every year since the early 1900s. It marks the achievements of, and celebrates, women around the world.  In honor of the day, I wanted to share some resource links with you specifically for female travelers.

1. Hostelbookers resources for women includes listings of female-friendly hostels as well as advice for women traveling to different regions of the world.
2. Truly one of the best resources for women travelers is Journeywoman, a travel magazine run by the amazing Evelyn Hannon.
3. Brooke Schoenman of Brooke vs. the World runs a monthly newsletter for women travelers called The Female Travel Underground which also has advice uniquely tailored to women travelers.
4. Leyla Giray publishes Women on the Road, for female backpackers,which includes a monthly newsletter with advice to help make your travels a bit easier.
5. Interested in the idea of meeting other women on the road, and possibly staying with them? Women Welcome Women World Wide is like couchsurfing, but just for women.
6. Beth Whitman’s Wanderlust and Lipstick is a resource for traveling women and includes group women-only tours.

This is just a small sampling of the women’s travel resources out there on the web. There are also, of course, numerous travel blogs written by women.  The point is, there are inspiring female travelers all around us. The more we women travel, the more opportunities we have for meeting other women from around the world and learning about their cultures from them. For instance, the photo above is of me with Tejas, a woman from India whom I met while we were both traveling in Puerto Rico. We never would have met if we hadn’t both been traveling. We had a great day together.

Is there a woman traveler who inspires you? Mine would have to be Amelia Earhart, of course–an obvious choice, but inspirational, nonetheless.

In Honor of International Women’s Day…. is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Art of Solo Travel Author Stephanie Lee

Stephanie Lee is the author of The Art of Solo Travel, a guide for “un-average girls” (as she puts it) who wish to travel the world by themselves.  Stephanie has lived in Malaysia, San Francisco, and Australia (where she studied architecture at the University of New South Wales).  Six years after she earned her degree and had established herself in her chosen profession, Stephanie did something that might seem radical to most people:  She quit her job, sold her house and everything in it, and left Australia to travel for a year to 20 countries and three continents. Alone.  She began writing about her travels and launched a new career for herself as a travel writer, publishing articles on the Indie Travel Podcast and Brave New Traveler.  Eventually, she realized her experiences as a solo traveler might benefit others and, with the assistance of Craig and Linda Martin of the Indie Travel Podcast, wrote and published the e-book The Art of Solo Travel.

I have read The Art of Solo Travel and reviewed it here on my blog, and you may have noticed I have affiliate links to purchase this ebook here on my site.  I do this because I feel it’s a good resource (at a good price) for newbie solo travelers headed off on long-term travel.   Yet, I’ve never actually had a conversation with Stephanie.  How strange is that?  So I was very excited when Craig Martin connected me with Stephanie recently so I could ask her a few questions about her solo travel experiences.

SF: What did you do to prepare for the solo aspect of your round-the-world trip (in terms of safety, loneliness, etc.)?

Stephanie: When it came to safety, in most urban cities I was never very worried about it in the day as there were always lots of people around me. In countries with reputations for theft and crime, it’s a good idea to join tour groups and also to meet other single travelers. Always walk in the opposite direction of traffic if possible so someone on a bike can’t come behind and surprise you. Try to meet up with other solo travelers at night for company and safety’s sake. You can find them on Travbuddy or one of the local couchsurfing groups.

I kept a blog to combat loneliness. Words were an outlet for all the emotions of the day. Of course, since I was couchsurfing so much, I always had a friend in almost every city so any feelings of loneliness were quite short-lived.

SF: Excellent segue to my next question! I know you’re a big fan of couchsurfing and you were able to save a lot of money by traveling this way. First, for those of my readers who don’t know what couchsurfing is, could you describe it?

Stephanie: Couchsurfing is a form of connecting with locals by literally ‘surfing’ their couch. This basically means locals offer travelers an opportunity to sleep at their home – for free – in exchange for friendship and learning about culture from one another. The ‘couch’ could be your own room, a pull-out sofa, or a sleeping bag. For me it didn’t matter. I traveled using this as my only method of accommodation for well over six months, and in the process I made many lifelong friends I would never trade for the best hotel in the world even if I could afford it. As a solo female couchsurfer, the one-on-one connection with my hosts (50/50 male and female) was my main reason for traveling this way as it is like having an old friend in every new city I visited. You can read more about my couchsurfing experiences on Matador and read more about the Couchsurfing Community’s Safety News on their website.

SF: What advice would you give female travelers who are nervous about the concept of staying with strangers while traveling?

Stephanie: Traveling solo is a big adventure, especially for females, and I completely understand the apprehension when it comes to staying with strangers in a new country. The couchsurfing community is based on trust and a reference system, so try to approach hosts who have hosted other people before and have good feedback from their guests. However, even reference systems are sometimes flawed, so I think at the end of the day, you just need to trust your own intuition, and if the first night with your new host feels uncomfortable, leave.

Al-Badayer Desert Safari

SF: Do you have any fun stories of things that happened to you that you realized even at the time, “This never would have happened if I had been traveling with someone else?”

Stephanie: I got stranded at Cairo Airport in Egypt, which was one of the most chaotic airports I’ve ever landed in. I was supposed to be picked up by my new couchsurfing host but I couldn’t find him and couldn’t contact him by phone. I ended up being very fortunate as I met an American expat who kindly gave me a lift to the suburb my host lived in and even spent an hour trying to locate him with me. We didn’t find it and I crashed in his flat for a while before managing to contact an English couchsurfer who offered me a room at her gorgeous home instead. So if I was traveling with someone else, I would never have hitched a ride, never have contacted the English couchsurfer, and never have ended up being driven around by her personal chauffeur in Egypt! I was completely spoilt!

SF: Is there anything you would have done differently, if you could do it over again?

Stephanie: I made the journey of my dreams and I have no regrets. Though in hindsight, I should have gone during summer instead of winter as I froze for many months! No fun traveling solo in wind, snow, rain, and zero-degree temperatures!

SF: How did your solo travels change you?

Stephanie:  I was always an independent and confident person but my solo travels verified that I could do anything my heart set out to do, no matter how hard I thought it would be.

SF: What advice would you give women traveling solo to your home country of Australia?

Stephanie: Jump onto the local couchsurfing groups and start meeting locals and travelers to explore new places with. We have a wonderful local couchsurfing family who regularly organize barbeques, festivals, and general meet-ups.

SF: I’m headed to Paris soon for the first time.  That was your first stop on your round the world trip. Got any tips for me?

Stephanie:  Learn basic French words! People are extra friendly and helpful when you start with ‘bonjour!’

SF: Are you traveling now, and what are your future travel plans?

Stephanie: No, I’ve been home in Sydney for just over a year, and would like to stay put for a while to focus on work and career after neglecting it for so long. I am planning to visit New Zealand, Fiji, and perhaps South America very soon, I hope.

Many thanks to Stephanie for sharing her experiences with round-the-world solo travel with us here and in her e-book.  Be sure to check out Stephanie’s Art of Solo Travel Facebook page and “like” it!

Photo credits:  Stephanie Lee.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Stephanie Lee: An “Un-Average Girl” is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love

My friend Colleen and I went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love last week.  Neither of us had read the book, so we were both eager to see what all the fuss was about.  From what little I knew of it, I thought it was right up my alley:  Elizabeth Gilbert takes a year off from her life to travel solo.  During the first half of the movie, I was totally on board with Elizabeth’s  journey.  I inwardly cheered for her when she had the guts to tell her husband she didn’t want to be married to him any more because she wasn’t happy.  (I groaned when she immediately followed this up with a rebound relationship that seemed obviously doomed.)  I was proud of her when she disregarded her friend’s advice and decided to travel for a year on her own.  I adored her stay in Italy.  The friendships she cultivated there were a perfect example of what can happen when you travel solo.

Somewhere during her stay in India, I fell out of like with her and remained that way through much of the rest of the movie as I realized that despite all her time alone on the road, she still hadn’t changed.  Elizabeth was completely focused on her relationships with men throughout her solo travels, instead of on the joy of being alone and free to do whatever she wanted to do for the first time in her life.  She was whiny and self-absorbed and spent little to no time focusing on the cultures of the countries she visited (after Italy).  Then, of course, the movie had to go with the stock Hollywood “happy ending” with her new love.

I’m not against finding happiness or love.  On the contrary.  Hell, I’d be ecstatic to find my own Felipe. But I felt like she hadn’t really embraced her inner solo traveler before she fell right back into her old pattern of behavior, spending all her time with Felipe instead of pursuing her purpose for being in Bali. Later, as we discussed the movie, Colleen and I agreed that the movie had an opportunity to make a statement about the importance of being alone sometimes, and it just failed to deliver.

I travel solo all the time, and I live alone, so I have plenty of time to myself.  But so many women don’t.  Colleen is a perfect example.  She keeps very busy raising her second family, running a home-based business, serving as a Girl Scout troop leader, and waitressing on the side.  She doesn’t get a lot of “me” time.

Recently, Colleen took a solo trip to northern California to attend her high school reunion.  When I asked her how her trip had gone, there was a sense of relief in her voice as she gushed about how great it was to see old friends again, but also how much she loved the quiet time she had alone in the car during the ten hour round trip drive between San Francisco and Eureka.  She did, however, note the differences in how she and her husband approach their trips away from each other.  

When her husband goes away for a “boys’ weekend” with his friends, he just walks out the door and doesn’t give it another thought.  But if Colleen goes away, she has to make sure there’s someone to drop the girls off at school in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon; that there is plenty of food in the house for meals; that the house is clean and the laundry done.  She has to remind her husband about dentist appointments and Girl Scouts and all the millions of other little details that wives tend to take care of that husbands are generally blissfully oblivious about.

I sat there listening to her, nodding, and understanding that this was the premise that Eat, Pray, Love set up and yet failed to deliver on:  The importance of women taking a break from their lives to just be themselves and nurture themselves for a change. And as Brian Searl pointed out in his recent guest post here, going on a vacation with the family doesn’t count.  If the family is with you, you’re not really getting away from it all, are you?

While there’s nothing wrong with sharing your life with the right person (and really, who doesn’t want that?), there’s also nothing wrong with taking time apart once in awhile to pursue your own interests or just have some “alone time”.  Eat, Pray, Love wasted its opportunity to make a point about the transformative power of solo travel–of taking the time to nurture one’s soul, and of forging a stronger self-identity.  I’m not really sure what point it was trying to make.  But I thought Colleen did a much better job making her point with one simple statement:

“I really needed those five days to just be Colleen.  Not Mrs. Palmer, not Mom. Just me.”

Photo credit: Francois Duhamel.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Eat, Pray, Love and The Importance of Solo Travel is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Sitting on Buledi Temple in Bagan, Burma

As a solo female traveler who has been on the road for over 2 years, I often get emails from other women asking for reassurance or tips before they too take the plunge and travel alone. When Gray asked me to do a guest post on her site, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to put my thoughts down in one place.

My first solo travel experience was when I went to study in France in 2001. It was my first trip overseas without family, and my first time living so far from home. I remember staying up all night just before I left and worrying myself sick. Would I make any friends? Would I even leave my room? During my first Friday in France, I forced myself to the train station and asked the attendant where the next train was headed. Annecy was the answer – a tiny, picturesque town nestled into surrounding mountains, with a beautiful lake to explore. I inhaled deeply, bought the ticket – and had one of the best weekends of my life. I wandered around town aimlessly, met other backpackers at my hostel and wrote for hours in my journal. I often wonder how my perspective would have differed had that first solo foray gone awry, but luckily for me the damage was done: I was hooked on solo travel.

Fast forward to 2008. I quit my job to pursue my dream of travelling around the world, and started out with a fellow lawyer. After I got sicker than sick and had to go home to recoup, she continued on and in September of 2008 (when I had finally recovered) I took off alone. I’ve been traveling solo since, and it is terrific.

Why Do I Love to Travel Alone?

As someone who tends to obsess over the little quirks that make a place special, I find solo travel a uniquely suitable enterprise for my personality. I am also obsessed with food, and it is an obsession that has grown over the last two years. While most travelers love to try new foods, I tend to plan my days around eating and traveling alone means that I can take the time to savor as many street stalls as possible or travel to tiny towns to try a new food. Being alone also means that there is no fixed schedule, nor anyone to consult with if I want to leave earlier than planned or stay longer in a given place. Of course, it is easy to meet people on the road, and oftentimes many of these activities involve a  new sidekick or two – but it is a tremendous comfort to know that whenever I want to move on, I can.

Do I Ever Get Lonely?

I would be lying if I said I did not have pangs of loneliness on the road, but the reality is that they remain few and far between. Watching a glorious sunset over the ruins of Bagan was great with my newfound friends, but would have been even lovelier to share with someone who knew me even more. And there have been cities or places like Iloilo City in the Philippines, where there was nary a tourist in sight and as dusk fell I found myself wistfully thinking of home. More often than not, however, I am caught up in the whirlwind of a new destination, with its exciting new foods, sights and cities or towns to explore. And let’s not downplay how incredibly easy it is to meet people on the road. All you need to do is put yourself out there and strike up a conversation with someone new – what’s there to lose?  If you two get along, you have a travel companion for the next few hours or days, or a friend for life.

Overlooking Batad, The Philippines

What about Getting Sick?

The only time that travelling alone became a scarier proposition is when I got sick. Luckily I have been able to rely on the kindness of strangers – rehydration salts from another hostelgoer in Burma, some charcoal pills from a newfound friend in Cambodia – when travel sickness has set in. Loneliness tends to tighten around you when you are at your weakest, and there is no question that sitting on the floor of the bathroom in a new country can take its toll on your psyche.  As clichéd as it sounds, getting through and past these moments of sickness mixed with solitude have made me feel stronger as a person. I have also made sure to repay the favour with other travellers who have gotten sick on the road. A big hug, cold water and some bananas from a new friend goes a long way when you’re feeling down.

Do I Worry About Safety?

When women write me for advice about solo travel, I always respond the same thing: first and foremost, you need to have confidence in yourself and your instincts, and you need to use common sense. When I was still saving to quit my job and travel, I would think about what it would be like to finally be on the road, and safety certainly figured prominently among any worries I had. As Gray advocated in her recent post, common sense goes a long way toward keeping yourself safe on the road. I don’t drink copious amounts of alcohol, and if I do have a beer or a drink, I never let it leave my side. I tend to pay a little more to stay in more centrally located hostels or hotels, knowing that a walk home after dark might be a problem if I were in a gloomier area.

Those basic tips aside, I also do the following:

I keep a doorstop in my backpack for those hotels where the staff seems a wee bit sketchier than I would like. Shoved between the door’s end and my floor, it gives me some piece of mind when I sleep and some extra noise if someone is trying to get in the room. Yes, this did come in handy once in the Philippines, where people tried to get in my room at 3am (I obviously switched hotels the next day).

I opened a second bank account and put in a few hundred dollars. On the whole, Asia is remarkably safe compared with some other destinations but for my travels through South America and South Africa I made sure to open a 2nd bank account and deposit a few hundred dollars of cash in the account. The reason for this is the ‘express kidnapping’, whereby tourists have been kidnapped and forced to withdraw the daily maximum from their bank accounts each day, until they drain their bank account entirely and are set free. No, this is not a common occurrence. But setting up a 2nd account took 10 minutes of my time and gives me the piece of mind to travel knowing I (hopefully) have a way out without losing all of my savings.

In parts of the world, I carry a mugger’s wallet. Again, this depends on your destination but it came in handy for me when I was mugged at knife point in Brazil. I don’t tend to carry one when I am in Asia, but having a second wallet with a few fake cards and a small bit of cash can save you a lot of hassle if you are asked to turn over your valuables. Yes, use of the mugger’s wallet is contingent upon keeping a cool head and being robbed by someone who doesn’t give you a thorough pat-down. But when it does work out – what a relief!

There is no guaranteed way to keep yourself absolutely safe, and horror stories involving women can happen on the road or at home. I try not to become too complacent in a familiar place, and keep a watchful eye wherever I go.

Would I do It Again?

Overall, I’ve found solo travel to be a rewarding, engaging experience. I’ve made friends with locals who strike up conversations on buses and boats and trains, I’ve pushed my comfort levels by hiking up mountains alone and I’ve grown tremendously as a person over these last two years.  While I can see the benefits of traveling with a friend, I would encourage everyone to try traveling alone at least once in their lives.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Perspectives on Long-Term Solo Female Travel is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

I’d like to think that those of you who have been reading my blog for some time have picked up some useful information about what it’s like to travel solo.  One area, though, where I know I have not been able to help you is in regards to long-term (round-the-world) solo travel–because my trips never last that long.  That’s where  The Art of Solo Travel: A Girls’ Guide comes in.

The Art of Solo Travel: A Girls’ Guide was written by Stephanie Lee and produced by Indie Travel Media Ltd. Stephanie Lee is a writer for the Indie Travel Podcast and Brave New Traveler.  She’s a long-term traveler who has been to 30 countries (20 of them solo), and enjoyed her experience so much she decided to write a book to inspire others to travel solo, too. This e-book has been available since June 1.  I’m a little slow reviewing it because I wanted to read it in its entirety and mull it over a bit before deciding whether or not I would recommend it to my readers.  Even though I’m friendly with the folks at Indie Travel Media (who gave me a review copy of the e-book at no cost), I’m not the kind of person who would promote something unless I believe in it.  Especially when that something costs money.  Well, I’m happy to say now that I can give this book a thumbs-up.

The book itself is extremely well-organized.  The first section starts exactly where it should, with the question of “Why travel alone?” It provides some inspirational reasons for people who need to be convinced that solo travel really is right for them. (If you’re already convinced, feel free to skim it.) Once you get past the “Why” section, Stephanie covers all the other topics you would hope she would, including:.

• The realities of what you leave behind in order to go on that round-the-world trip;
• Suggestions of places you can travel to, with some tips about what it’s like to be a solo female traveler in those places;
• How to prepare for your trip (including a packing checklist and advice about what gear you’ll need, as well as other practical things you’ll need to do, like obtain vaccinations);
• How to budget for your trip (including ways to save money now);
• Transportation options;
• General advice about eating cheaply (but healthy);
• Loneliness and meeting people;
• How to make couchsurfing work for you (which is what she did); and
• Safety. (This section could have been longer, in my opinion, since it is often the biggest psychological stumbling block for would-be solo travelers.)

My favorite part of the book was the financial section.  Too much of the advice I see online about round-the-world travel is very vague about what everything costs.  Stephanie is not vague at all.  She lists her itinerary and exactly how much she spent on her trip, and in what categories.  She traveled to countries that are notoriously expensive, and yet still, over the course of a year, spent only about a quarter of my annual salary. That is the kind of specific detail that I’m looking for when I engage in travel research.

Let’s be real here:  Much the information in this book can be found on the Internet if you take the time to look for it, but you’ll spend many hours doing so, and you probably won’t find it all in one place.  I can’t tell you how often I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time researching something online, only to later realize it would have been less frustrating and more cost-effective (based on what I earn per hour) to have purchased a guide on the subject.   How much is your time worth to you? This book provides all the information you need to know to get started as a long-term solo traveler, and it does it in one compact format that you can download immediately.  At the price of $12.95 (US), it’s a good value–but not for everyone.

While this book is perfect for the inexperienced traveler who is interested in long-term solo travel, this book is not for:

• Those who only travel for a week or two at a time;
• People who prefer to travel with tour groups and have their trips planned for them by someone else;
• Experienced long-term travelers, solo or otherwise.

Even though this is called “A Girls’ Guide,” I can’t help but think there are some men out there who could benefit from this book, too. In fact, I feel so strongly that this book has value to newbie solo travelers that I’m placing links on my site so my readers can purchase the book through me if interested.  There are many e-book affiliate programs out there, and this is the first one I have joined, because I do believe it’s a product that can be of value to my readers who are new to long-term solo travel. Maybe my blog hasn’t yet convinced you that you, too, can travel solo; or maybe I haven’t  given you all the tools you need to do so, because I’m not a long-term traveler and that’s what your dream is.  If this book can fill that gap for you, how can I not promote it?

So if you’ve been on the fence about long-term solo travel, yearning to give it a try, but not sure where to start, what are you waiting for?  Go buy the book and start planning your first solo travel adventure.

The Art of Solo Travel, A Review is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Following my successful foray into solo travel in the mid-1990s, I decided to make it a habit.  But independent travel is a bit different than letting someone else do all the planning for you, so I started looking around online for resources for solo travelers.  To no one’s surprise, I’m sure, I didn’t find a lot.  But I did find a website called Journeywoman.com, published by a woman named Evelyn Hannon from Toronto.   It’s not a solo travel website per se; it’s a travel resource for women in general. But it does have a substantial section on solo travel (called “She Goes Solo”), which only makes sense, since Evelyn has traveled solo all over the world herself.

What can you find at Journeywoman?  Tips from Evelyn and her thousands of readers who share advice on such things as: How to dress in certain cultures, good and affordable restaurants around the world, where to find those sweet little B&Bs we’re always on the lookout for when we travel, safety tips for women, and much, much more.  Wouldn’t you want to know how to be culturally correct in China before you set foot in the country?  Think of it as an all-you-can-read travel tips buffet. 

I think of Evelyn as the Godmother of Solo Travel–at least in terms of those actively promoting it online.  She may not be the first woman to ever travel alone, but she is passionate about it and shares that passion with everyone.  Evelyn first started traveling alone in her forties, following her divorce.  That was almost thirty years ago, and she’s been on the go ever since.  So if you think she might be able to teach you a thing or two about solo travel, you’d be right.

I have had the pleasure of getting to know Evelyn a little bit better recently via Twitter, as we “follow” each other’s tweets.  Evelyn tweets at least one travel tip per day, sometimes more–tips like this:

If you’re on Twitter, be sure to follow her.  Even if you’re not a member of Twitter, you can still bookmark and “lurk” on her profile page and get those great daily travel tips that way.  What really shines through on both her website and Twitter–but probably more on Twitter, because of the casual nature of it–is Evelyn’s fun personality.  (Her column at daughter Erica’s website, the YummyMummyClub, is called “Aging Disgracefully” which I think pretty much says it all.)

So ladies, if you have been bitten by the travel bug and haven’t yet checked out Journeywoman, you really should. It’s an invaluable resource for any woman planning to travel.   You will inevitably find some great tips there that will make your trip go more smoothly.  Just be forewarned:  This website is such a goldmine of information, you could lose track of time exploring it; so if you have somewhere you need to be, you might want to set your alarm.

You Should Know: Journeywoman is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

You may already be familiar with the Lost Girls of the LostGirlsWorld.com website, but in case you’re not, here’s another chance to become acquainted with them:  Jennifer Baggett, Holly C. Corbett, and Amanda Pressner have written a book chronicling their travel adventures, titled (appropriately): the lost girls: three friends, four continents, one unconventional detour around the world. I spend so much of my free time on this blog that it’s been awhile since I’ve read a good book, so I was excited to receive  a free advance copy to review.

Here’s the skinny on the story:  In their late twenties, these three friends ditched their cool jobs in the New York media scene and left behind their comfortable lives (including two boyfriends) to go backpacking around the world for a year to figure out what they really wanted for their lives, their careers, and their relationships.  To be honest, I really only intended to read and review the sections on solo travel, but decided to read the first chapter to get the background.  It opens at a ceremony in Kenya where the three young women are initiated as honorary members of a tribe of Maasai wanderers amidst a swirl of colors and dancing.  That hooked me.  How did these three young women from Manhattan wind up here? I wondered.  A hundred and fifty pages later, it became apparent I was going to be reading the whole book, not just the parts about solo travel.

Following the opening scene in Kenya, the book backtracks to the months leading up to their trip and tells the story chronologically from there.  Throughout the book, each Lost Girl takes a turn telling the story from her point of view, as they travel through Brazil, Peru, Kenya, India, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, New Zealand, Australia, and Panama. The multiple first-person point of view works really well here.

I don’t know if male readers will feel the same way, but I feel most female readers will see at least a little bit of themselves in these pages.  I laughed at funny things that happened, worried when they became violently ill on the road, empathized with them when they found themselves in cultures where the men were too aggressive, sputtered like someone’s mother when the girls got themselves into sketchy situations, feared for them during a particularly harrowing experience with a Hanoi cab driver, and smiled at the revelations that could only have come from being in the right time and place, from choosing travel in the first place.

Mostly, I reconfirmed for myself while reading that I couldn’t travel the way they did. The round-the-world backpacking scene is not for me.  I could completely relate when Holly finally snapped and decided she couldn’t stay in hostel dorms any more because she just couldn’t sleep with all those people around all the time.  And the cockroaches they experienced in more than one locale would have been a deal-breaker for me.  There were times when there was tension between them because their travel styles didn’t entirely mesh and their goals for the trip clashed, and I thought “Then why don’t you split up and go your separate ways for a while?”  But then, that’s the solo traveler in me.

While this is a tale of three amigas traveling together, there are bits and pieces of solo travel here and there.  Holly spends a few weeks in India at an ashram while her friends sample the beach life, and Jen spends a week in Thailand by herself. I especially enjoyed reading the Thailand chapter.  When Jen sets the scene of her first night in her hostel by herself, wondering exactly how not to look pathetic as a solo traveler and wondering how to be alone after always traveling with her friends, she speaks for the first-time solo traveler everywhere.

If you love to travel, if you’ve ever thought about taking a leave of absence from your everyday life to do some long-term travel, or even if you know you never will do that, but just want to live vicariously through the adventures of other people, I recommend this book.  There are two journeys that take place here for all three: the external journey and the internal one.  How do their year-long travels change them and influence their lives? I’m not going to spoil it for you; you’ll have to read it to find out.

the lost girls is for sale at bookstores and online retailers now.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Book Review: The Lost Girls is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

What I am about to say may shock you:  I quite often don’t practice what I preach when it comes to solo travel safety.  There is a lot of sound advice about safety for solo women that is commonly-held and repeated among travelers (including me!).  Most of it, I adhere to.  For instance, I make sure I pick a hotel in a safe neighborhood. I stick to well-traveled tourist areas (especially at night) and do not go to private places with strangers.  I keep my valuables locked up in my room safe or tucked out of sight. I stay sober and am constantly vigilant about what’s going on around me. I am super paranoid about anyone invading my personal space.

But there are some things that I  have  not yet found it necessary to do.  This may be because of the destinations I choose.  So far, I haven’t gone anywhere that has felt particularly unsafe to me.  So what are those solo female safety tips I don’t follow?

I don’t wear a fake wedding band to discourage men from hitting on me when I travel. I keep seeing this bit of advice being doled out on the Internet like it’s something you absolutely have to do to stay safe when you travel.  I’m not spending a couple of hundred bucks on  a fake wedding band, when I can just as easily discourage men with my best “fuck off” facial expression, which happens to be free. But then, I haven’t traveled to regions where men are particular aggressive about that sort of thing, and I’m not a cute young twenty-something any more.

I’ve never lied about my bodybuilder boyfriend being “back in the hotel room” to make people think I’m not traveling alone. Why? Because I’m a lousy liar and they’d see right through me anyway!  So why bother?  I don’t want people’s first impression of me to be that I’m a liar.

Which is why I also sometimes commit the cardinal sin of solo travelers: I tell people I’m traveling alone. I’ve never gotten into a conversation with someone I can’t trust with that information, because I steer clear of anyone who feels “wrong” to me.  It’s not like I’m running around screaming in the streets “I’m traveling alone! Mug me!” I just don’t see any reason to keep it a secret that I’m traveling alone if someone asks.

If someone I’ve struck up a friendly conversation with asks me, I tell them where I’m staying. Why not?  It’s not like I’m camping out in the woods alone.  There are always plenty of staff around, if not security.  So what the hell is a stranger going to do about it if they know where I’m staying?  I’m not giving them the key to my room and an open invitation to visit me there.  The only people who usually ask me where I’m staying are other tourists, and it’s because they want to compare hotels.  I’ve never had a stalker when I traveled, and if I did, I’d call the authorities.

When I go to a bar by myself, I don’t feel the need to latch onto a group to make it look like I’m not alone. But I also choose my nightspots carefully.  I wouldn’t hang out at a dive bar by myself.  I know if anyone in the bar pays undue attention to me, I can always turn to the staff for backup.  And I’m not walking home from that bar at night in the dark by myself, I’m taking a cab.

I don’t call home every day or tell my family my itinerary beyond my flight and hotel information. Okay, this is the one I probably ought to start doing, since accidents can happen to anyone at any time.  I could be hit by a car and lying in a ditch and they wouldn’t know until they realized I never came home from vacation, by which time, I’d be dead.  (Then again, I could also die at the beginning of a weekend when I have no social plans and no one would know until I didn’t show up for work on Monday morning.  Such is the life of a single woman who lives alone.)

So there, those are my confessions.  Do you respect me less now?  Do you think I’m being too cavalier about these things?  Are there any commonly-held travel safety practices that you don’t adhere to?  Come on, ‘fess up.  It’s good for the soul.

Disclaimer: I am not recommending that anyone follow my example regarding the behaviors above.  Everyone has to decide for herself what to do and not do to ensure safety.

Photo credit:  Confessional by emilio labrador, Wedding Ring by jdn.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Solo Travel Confessions is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Here at SoloFriendly, you generally get the point of view of one type of solo traveler (me). I’m a short-term traveler, a vacation traveler if you will. Tuesday, I introduced you to my friend Danielle Johnston, a radically different type of solo traveler, and noted some scary travel episodes she has experienced. If what had happened to Danielle had happened to me, I’d be rethinking my future travel plans. After all, those are not exactly the experiences most of us hope for when we travel the world solo. But Danielle keeps going.

She thinks you should go, too.  So do I.  In part two of my interview with Danielle, she offers her advice for solo travelers.

SF: What and when was your first solo trip?  What did you learn from that experience?

DJ: My first “solo” trip was actually at 16 when I traveled with AFS (AFS Intercultural Programs) to Argentina to study abroad for a semester.  I had never traveled outside of the U.S. on my own, and I was the only American student in my program that did not speak a word of Spanish.  It was the most invaluable experience ever.  I do not think that I would be where I am today if it had not been for this opportunity.  It opened my eyes to the world and everything that is out there and I haven’t stopped traveling since.  My passion to see the world has only increased as I travel from place to place.

SF: What steps do you take to stay safe when you travel?

DJ: I’ve always felt quite safe and have only been in a few situations that I thought were perhaps “sketchy” and a bit unsafe. While I’m cautious I also don’t allow this to get in the way of experiencing things. You just have to be sure to assess a situation if you feel like it could become dangerous and  just follow your instinct.

In Petra

SF: Of the countries you’ve visited, which would you say are most suited to solo travelers?  Which ones were a bit more sketchy for solo travel?

DJ: South America is a fabulous destination for any solo traveler.  It is full of hostels and cheap hotels which makes it easier to meet new people and find new traveling companions.  It is safe and there are so many amazing places to visit – it’s definitely accessible and easy for anyone to manage getting around from place to place or country to country.  West Africa was absolutely amazing and though a bit more “sketchy” for a solo traveler this should not deter anyone from taking the leap.  Once you’ve gotten your feet wet with perhaps some other solo traveling experiences everyone should head to West Africa.

SF: Are you a planner or are you a “fly by the seat of your pants” type of traveler?  How much advance research do you do before your travels?

DJ:  This totally depends on where I am.  I’m always up and ready for a weekend away but since a lot of the programs that I have participated in last for at least 3 months I definitely have to do a bit of planning.  However, if I am in a country for a period of months I definitely do a lot of “fly by the seat of my pants” planning! I’m always up for a long bus ride or quick flight to get out of my current location to do something new!

SF: You spent  a year teaching kindergarten in the Middle East.  What advice would you offer solo travelers to that region?

DJ: I taught in Doha, Qatar last year – a quick 40 minute flight from Dubai.  The Gulf region is definitely NOT a place I would recommend to travel to unless of course you want a luxurious holiday. There is no “culture” and its just full of expats and other foreigners from primarily Asia (who are treated horribly and paid next to nothing to build all the fancy hotels and malls). It’s extremely expensive and there really is nothing to do but stay in a Ritz Carlton or Four Seasons and hang out at the mall. I would recommend Oman – they do have some amazing things to see and do. But I would definitely cross Qatar and the UAE (Dubai) off my list of places to visit. Save your money and go somewhere else!

SF: I am interested in traveling to Egypt at some point in the future.  Is there anything in particular Westerners need to be aware of when traveling solo to Egypt?

DJ: Being a foreign woman anywhere can be difficult, especially in places like the Middle East. It can be very difficult walking down the street because you are constantly harassed. While I feel extremely safe here there are times that the harassment takes its toll and starts to make you feel very angry and cynical towards some of the men here. But I still love Egypt, and I love being here and this really shouldn’t stop anyone from coming here.

SF: What have been your most memorable experiences traveling solo–your biggest disappointments, your most pleasant surprises?

DJ: Traveling solo can definitely have its lonely moments. But I’ve always met wonderful people from all over the place so you’re not lonely for long. It’s also a nice time for yourself to think about things and reflect on life – I find it very therapeutic at times. My biggest disappointment is how fast time goes and soon my trip is over and I’m on my way back home. I’ve met the most amazing people traveling. Some of them are my dearest and closest friends now. Even if I haven’t spoken to someone in months and then we suddenly are reconnected through an email, Facebook or phone call we always will have that connection of being in that one place at that one time together. That will keep us friends for life because no one else can share that experience with me!

Sri Lanka

My deepest appreciation to Danielle for sharing her personal experiences and advice with us.  After reading her advice, I still don’t think I’ll ever be quite as fearless as she is, but I will always love living vicariously through her stories.  Thanks, Danielle!

Photo credit:  Danielle Johnston.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Interview with a Solo Traveler, Part II: Advice for Going Solo is a post from: SoloFriendly.com