Today, I have the pleasure of introducing you to Cressida Howard, founder of Invite for a Bite, a website that allows women around the world to connect with other women to share a meal or an activity. Cressida is a former EFL teacher who taught in Tokyo, Barcelona, Granada, and London. She now teaches piano part-time, which has allowed her the time to set up and run Invite for a Bite.

Cressida Howard at Bredon Hill

SF: Please explain for my readers what Invite for a Bite is all about.

CH: Invite For A Bite aims to solve a problem for solo women travelers: What to do when you don’t want to eat alone. The evenings can be lonely for women who travel solo: on one travel forum a woman described it as ‘the biggest problem there is’. It’s tougher for women to go into a bar alone (in some countries it’s downright dangerous).

Invite For A Bite offers a way around that problem – create an invite to meet and eat and see who’s up for joining you. (A ‘couchsurfing for meals’ if you like!) But you don’t have to be traveling to use Invite For A Bite; you can use it to hook up with people who live near you, as well as those traveling through. That’s why we say ‘at home and away’.

SF: Where did you get the idea for this?

CH: A group of solo women travelers were talking on the radio. They all said they loved the wonderful freedom of traveling alone but HATED having to eat alone. I had the proverbial light bulb moment and thought: let’s create a site where women who don’t want to eat alone can have fun eating together. There’s an Arab proverb that says ‘He who dines alone chokes alone’. Now she who dines alone has Invite For A Bite!

SF: Do you have any screening measures in place for the safety of your users or is it all on the honor system? Do you regularly screen user profiles to make sure people are following guidelines? (For instance, that no men are creating profiles?)

CH: Invite For A Bite is all about going online to meet offline. If a man created an invite on the site and then showed up in person, the get together probably wouldn’t last long! In our safety tips we urge our users to always meet in a busy public place. And any user who causes a problem at an event or on the site can be reported and removed.

(Just for the record, men aren’t excluded because we think the majority of them are dangerous stalkers. I’ve been living with the same one for ten years now and he’s lovely! But when you explain to guys that it’s ‘different for girls’ when it comes to nightlife in major towns and cities, that the risks are greater and freedom is more curtailed, most of them get it and are really supportive.)

How would you like to turn that "party of one" into a party of two...or four?

SF: How far in advance does an event need to be set up?

CH: At the moment an event can be posted as late as one day in advance. We’ll be updating soon so that an event can be posted on the same day. In the future we aim to create a location based app that will make arranging get togethers even more spontaneous.

SF: What is it about your background that makes Invite for a Bite a great project for you?

CH: I’ve traveled on my own and I went to live and teach in Spain and Japan without knowing anyone there. So I know what it’s like to feel lonely! But I love traveling and meeting people all over the world. Invite For A Bite is the perfect project for me because it’s a site I really want to use myself.

I have this vision of myself at 80, traveling the world, or in my own town, and using the site to meet new people at the drop of a hat (or the click of a mouse – or whatever I’m using when I’m 80!). Just for a bit of fun – a bite to eat. But who knows what lovely people I’d meet. That’s what keeps me going!

SF: Do you have any success stories from the site to share so far?

CH: We launched two weeks ago so no-one has had a chance to invite for a bite yet! The community will take time to build and for meet ups to start taking place. But we already have invites in Toronto, LA, Barcelona, Addis Ababa, Galway, and Italy (to name a few – check them out!).

For me personally the biggest success so far is all the lovely messages and tweets I’ve received from women all over the world saying what a great idea it is and how they’d love to use it. Here’s one message I received from a lady in Germany who signed up. She wrote: ‘I just remember myself on my latest travels for work sitting in a restaurant alone…. and would be happy if those times were over!’

That’s what Invite For A Bite is all about.

SF: Tell me your vision for Invite for a Bite in 5 years—what does it look like?

CH: My vision for Invite For A Bite in five years time is that we’ll have eradicated loneliness for women. Can’t hurt to think big eh?

SF: Anything else you’d like my readers to know about Invite for a Bite?

CH: It can’t happen without you. Sign up and make Invite For A Bite’s vision a reality!

Thanks to Cressida for creating a site that I think will be very useful for women as we travel and try to connect with each other for meals and other activities. You can check Invite for a Bite yourself at their website, and follow the website on Facebook and Twitter (@inviteforabite).

Invite for a Bite

Introducing: Invite for a Bite is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Her Packing List

This one’s (primarily) for the ladies: Have you ever agonized about where to keep your money and credit cards while traveling to keep them safe from pickpockets? Have you ever wondered how money belts or other under-your-clothing security wallets work?

I just wrote a guest review for Brooke Schoenman at Her Packing List describing my experience with the Bra Stash Personal Security Wallet. I was driven to try this product on my trip to Spain after reading countless reviews of rampant pickpocketing there. Let’s just say it didn’t quite work out as I’d imagined. You can read the article here. And while you’re over there, poke around a bit. At Her Packing List, Brooke reviews all sorts of travel gear for women, so if you are planning for long-terms travels and wonder which products are absolutely essential and which you can do without, you may find the answer there.

Stash it in your Bra? is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

A new friend I met from India while traveling in Puerto Rico

International Women’s Day is a global holiday celebrated on March 8 every year since the early 1900s. It marks the achievements of, and celebrates, women around the world.  In honor of the day, I wanted to share some resource links with you specifically for female travelers.

1. Hostelbookers resources for women includes listings of female-friendly hostels as well as advice for women traveling to different regions of the world.
2. Truly one of the best resources for women travelers is Journeywoman, a travel magazine run by the amazing Evelyn Hannon.
3. Brooke Schoenman of Brooke vs. the World runs a monthly newsletter for women travelers called The Female Travel Underground which also has advice uniquely tailored to women travelers.
4. Leyla Giray publishes Women on the Road, for female backpackers,which includes a monthly newsletter with advice to help make your travels a bit easier.
5. Interested in the idea of meeting other women on the road, and possibly staying with them? Women Welcome Women World Wide is like couchsurfing, but just for women.
6. Beth Whitman’s Wanderlust and Lipstick is a resource for traveling women and includes group women-only tours.

This is just a small sampling of the women’s travel resources out there on the web. There are also, of course, numerous travel blogs written by women.  The point is, there are inspiring female travelers all around us. The more we women travel, the more opportunities we have for meeting other women from around the world and learning about their cultures from them. For instance, the photo above is of me with Tejas, a woman from India whom I met while we were both traveling in Puerto Rico. We never would have met if we hadn’t both been traveling. We had a great day together.

Is there a woman traveler who inspires you? Mine would have to be Amelia Earhart, of course–an obvious choice, but inspirational, nonetheless.

In Honor of International Women’s Day…. is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Art of Solo Travel Author Stephanie Lee

Stephanie Lee is the author of The Art of Solo Travel, a guide for “un-average girls” (as she puts it) who wish to travel the world by themselves.  Stephanie has lived in Malaysia, San Francisco, and Australia (where she studied architecture at the University of New South Wales).  Six years after she earned her degree and had established herself in her chosen profession, Stephanie did something that might seem radical to most people:  She quit her job, sold her house and everything in it, and left Australia to travel for a year to 20 countries and three continents. Alone.  She began writing about her travels and launched a new career for herself as a travel writer, publishing articles on the Indie Travel Podcast and Brave New Traveler.  Eventually, she realized her experiences as a solo traveler might benefit others and, with the assistance of Craig and Linda Martin of the Indie Travel Podcast, wrote and published the e-book The Art of Solo Travel.

I have read The Art of Solo Travel and reviewed it here on my blog, and you may have noticed I have affiliate links to purchase this ebook here on my site.  I do this because I feel it’s a good resource (at a good price) for newbie solo travelers headed off on long-term travel.   Yet, I’ve never actually had a conversation with Stephanie.  How strange is that?  So I was very excited when Craig Martin connected me with Stephanie recently so I could ask her a few questions about her solo travel experiences.

SF: What did you do to prepare for the solo aspect of your round-the-world trip (in terms of safety, loneliness, etc.)?

Stephanie: When it came to safety, in most urban cities I was never very worried about it in the day as there were always lots of people around me. In countries with reputations for theft and crime, it’s a good idea to join tour groups and also to meet other single travelers. Always walk in the opposite direction of traffic if possible so someone on a bike can’t come behind and surprise you. Try to meet up with other solo travelers at night for company and safety’s sake. You can find them on Travbuddy or one of the local couchsurfing groups.

I kept a blog to combat loneliness. Words were an outlet for all the emotions of the day. Of course, since I was couchsurfing so much, I always had a friend in almost every city so any feelings of loneliness were quite short-lived.

SF: Excellent segue to my next question! I know you’re a big fan of couchsurfing and you were able to save a lot of money by traveling this way. First, for those of my readers who don’t know what couchsurfing is, could you describe it?

Stephanie: Couchsurfing is a form of connecting with locals by literally ‘surfing’ their couch. This basically means locals offer travelers an opportunity to sleep at their home – for free – in exchange for friendship and learning about culture from one another. The ‘couch’ could be your own room, a pull-out sofa, or a sleeping bag. For me it didn’t matter. I traveled using this as my only method of accommodation for well over six months, and in the process I made many lifelong friends I would never trade for the best hotel in the world even if I could afford it. As a solo female couchsurfer, the one-on-one connection with my hosts (50/50 male and female) was my main reason for traveling this way as it is like having an old friend in every new city I visited. You can read more about my couchsurfing experiences on Matador and read more about the Couchsurfing Community’s Safety News on their website.

SF: What advice would you give female travelers who are nervous about the concept of staying with strangers while traveling?

Stephanie: Traveling solo is a big adventure, especially for females, and I completely understand the apprehension when it comes to staying with strangers in a new country. The couchsurfing community is based on trust and a reference system, so try to approach hosts who have hosted other people before and have good feedback from their guests. However, even reference systems are sometimes flawed, so I think at the end of the day, you just need to trust your own intuition, and if the first night with your new host feels uncomfortable, leave.

Al-Badayer Desert Safari

SF: Do you have any fun stories of things that happened to you that you realized even at the time, “This never would have happened if I had been traveling with someone else?”

Stephanie: I got stranded at Cairo Airport in Egypt, which was one of the most chaotic airports I’ve ever landed in. I was supposed to be picked up by my new couchsurfing host but I couldn’t find him and couldn’t contact him by phone. I ended up being very fortunate as I met an American expat who kindly gave me a lift to the suburb my host lived in and even spent an hour trying to locate him with me. We didn’t find it and I crashed in his flat for a while before managing to contact an English couchsurfer who offered me a room at her gorgeous home instead. So if I was traveling with someone else, I would never have hitched a ride, never have contacted the English couchsurfer, and never have ended up being driven around by her personal chauffeur in Egypt! I was completely spoilt!

SF: Is there anything you would have done differently, if you could do it over again?

Stephanie: I made the journey of my dreams and I have no regrets. Though in hindsight, I should have gone during summer instead of winter as I froze for many months! No fun traveling solo in wind, snow, rain, and zero-degree temperatures!

SF: How did your solo travels change you?

Stephanie:  I was always an independent and confident person but my solo travels verified that I could do anything my heart set out to do, no matter how hard I thought it would be.

SF: What advice would you give women traveling solo to your home country of Australia?

Stephanie: Jump onto the local couchsurfing groups and start meeting locals and travelers to explore new places with. We have a wonderful local couchsurfing family who regularly organize barbeques, festivals, and general meet-ups.

SF: I’m headed to Paris soon for the first time.  That was your first stop on your round the world trip. Got any tips for me?

Stephanie:  Learn basic French words! People are extra friendly and helpful when you start with ‘bonjour!’

SF: Are you traveling now, and what are your future travel plans?

Stephanie: No, I’ve been home in Sydney for just over a year, and would like to stay put for a while to focus on work and career after neglecting it for so long. I am planning to visit New Zealand, Fiji, and perhaps South America very soon, I hope.

Many thanks to Stephanie for sharing her experiences with round-the-world solo travel with us here and in her e-book.  Be sure to check out Stephanie’s Art of Solo Travel Facebook page and “like” it!

Photo credits:  Stephanie Lee.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Stephanie Lee: An “Un-Average Girl” is a post from: SoloFriendly.com

Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love

My friend Colleen and I went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love last week.  Neither of us had read the book, so we were both eager to see what all the fuss was about.  From what little I knew of it, I thought it was right up my alley:  Elizabeth Gilbert takes a year off from her life to travel solo.  During the first half of the movie, I was totally on board with Elizabeth’s  journey.  I inwardly cheered for her when she had the guts to tell her husband she didn’t want to be married to him any more because she wasn’t happy.  (I groaned when she immediately followed this up with a rebound relationship that seemed obviously doomed.)  I was proud of her when she disregarded her friend’s advice and decided to travel for a year on her own.  I adored her stay in Italy.  The friendships she cultivated there were a perfect example of what can happen when you travel solo.

Somewhere during her stay in India, I fell out of like with her and remained that way through much of the rest of the movie as I realized that despite all her time alone on the road, she still hadn’t changed.  Elizabeth was completely focused on her relationships with men throughout her solo travels, instead of on the joy of being alone and free to do whatever she wanted to do for the first time in her life.  She was whiny and self-absorbed and spent little to no time focusing on the cultures of the countries she visited (after Italy).  Then, of course, the movie had to go with the stock Hollywood “happy ending” with her new love.

I’m not against finding happiness or love.  On the contrary.  Hell, I’d be ecstatic to find my own Felipe. But I felt like she hadn’t really embraced her inner solo traveler before she fell right back into her old pattern of behavior, spending all her time with Felipe instead of pursuing her purpose for being in Bali. Later, as we discussed the movie, Colleen and I agreed that the movie had an opportunity to make a statement about the importance of being alone sometimes, and it just failed to deliver.

I travel solo all the time, and I live alone, so I have plenty of time to myself.  But so many women don’t.  Colleen is a perfect example.  She keeps very busy raising her second family, running a home-based business, serving as a Girl Scout troop leader, and waitressing on the side.  She doesn’t get a lot of “me” time.

Recently, Colleen took a solo trip to northern California to attend her high school reunion.  When I asked her how her trip had gone, there was a sense of relief in her voice as she gushed about how great it was to see old friends again, but also how much she loved the quiet time she had alone in the car during the ten hour round trip drive between San Francisco and Eureka.  She did, however, note the differences in how she and her husband approach their trips away from each other.  

When her husband goes away for a “boys’ weekend” with his friends, he just walks out the door and doesn’t give it another thought.  But if Colleen goes away, she has to make sure there’s someone to drop the girls off at school in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon; that there is plenty of food in the house for meals; that the house is clean and the laundry done.  She has to remind her husband about dentist appointments and Girl Scouts and all the millions of other little details that wives tend to take care of that husbands are generally blissfully oblivious about.

I sat there listening to her, nodding, and understanding that this was the premise that Eat, Pray, Love set up and yet failed to deliver on:  The importance of women taking a break from their lives to just be themselves and nurture themselves for a change. And as Brian Searl pointed out in his recent guest post here, going on a vacation with the family doesn’t count.  If the family is with you, you’re not really getting away from it all, are you?

While there’s nothing wrong with sharing your life with the right person (and really, who doesn’t want that?), there’s also nothing wrong with taking time apart once in awhile to pursue your own interests or just have some “alone time”.  Eat, Pray, Love wasted its opportunity to make a point about the transformative power of solo travel–of taking the time to nurture one’s soul, and of forging a stronger self-identity.  I’m not really sure what point it was trying to make.  But I thought Colleen did a much better job making her point with one simple statement:

“I really needed those five days to just be Colleen.  Not Mrs. Palmer, not Mom. Just me.”

Photo credit: Francois Duhamel.

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.

Eat, Pray, Love and The Importance of Solo Travel is a post from: SoloFriendly.com