Sometimes, I hear someone say that they tried solo travel once and hated it. It’s usually not because of something horrific like getting mugged and beaten and left in an alley. No, the reason is usually that they found that it just wasn’t as much fun without anyone to share experiences with. In other words, they were lonely. So after that one lonely trip, they decided never to travel alone again–Ever. Even if that means never traveling again.
I’m usually flabbergasted by such an extreme reaction. You wouldn’t let one sunburn keep you from ever going out in the sun again, would you? So why would you let one lonely experience keep you from trying solo travel again? Look, even those of us who extol the virtues of solo travel get lonely sometimes. We just don’t let it stop us from traveling alone.
Maybe solo travel is easier for me because I’m an introvert. I need some alone time every day to recharge my batteries and be happy. But there are times when I wish I had a travel companion with me. Like that time in Vegas when I got longhauled and then dumped outside the tour lobby of the Flamingo late at night by my taxi driver, or the time in New Orleans when I was driven out of a bar I was enjoying because this creepy drunk guy kept hitting on me. What I wouldn’t give for a travel companion–any travel companion–at times like those. But sometimes, it’s that simple emotional response that what I’m doing just isn’t as much fun alone.
On my last trip to Vegas, I was really looking forward to visiting the Voodoo Lounge at the Rio to grab a drink, enjoy the view of the Strip at sunset, and take some photos. I’d read so much online about how much fun other people have had there. The Lounge wasn’t open when I arrived. I was told I could wait at the bar inside the Voodoo Steakhouse until the Lounge was open at 7pm. Since that was only about 10 minutes away, I did that. Unfortunately, it was date night at the Voodoo Steakhouse; the bar had only a few seats and was packed with couples. The bartender was bustling around filling drink orders for waitresses and never so much as glanced in my direction, let alone asked me if I wanted a drink. Everyone at the bar was engaged in private conversations, so I stood there for the longest 10 minutes of my life feeling very awkward with no one to talk to and no drink in my hand.
When the Lounge finally opened, I went upstairs. No one else came upstairs, so it was just me and the staff. It was too windy to go outside, and I couldn’t get a clear photo of the view through the windows. So I couldn’t focus on my photography until more people showed up. Had I been traveling with a companion, we’d have ordered drinks and stayed in the lounge chatting with each other until other people started trickling in. As it was, I felt really uncomfortable as the only customer in the place. I could have gotten a drink, grabbed a table and waited for more people to show up, but how long would that be? What would I do while I waited? Instead, I left. Did I get discouraged by this experience, give up for the night, and go back to my hotel room? No, I just went to another hotel and listened to a great live blues band all night and enjoyed it very much.
A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post on strategies I employ to keep from getting lonely on the road, called The Not-So-Lonely Solo Traveler. As you can see from the above story, these strategies are not foolproof. Solo travel is just like everything else in life: Things don’t always go as planned, and sometimes, being alone sucks. Occasional disappointment is part of the solo travel experience, and anyone who is considering going it alone needs to get used to being uncomfortable and lonely sometimes. But the more you do it, the better you get at it. The more resilient you become to those moments of disappointment.
The good thing about being lonely is that it motivates us to reach out to others. It pushes us out of our comfort zone. When we’re in our comfort zone, we tend not to grow at all. Seen from that perspective, loneliness is a great growth experience. I’ve become far more extroverted since I started traveling alone. I try to strike up conversations with strangers instead of waiting for them to talk to me. If I find myself in an uncomfortable situation, I just move on. And frankly, since there are way more positives than negatives to solo travel, I’m willing to put up with the occasional pang of loneliness or awkward moment. If nothing else, it makes me appreciate even more the people in my life back home and the time we spend together. Even if I don’t want to travel with them.
Related posts:
