One of the great things about having this blog is hearing from other solo travelers.  I often get inquiries from individuals who are new to solo travel and want my advice. I’m happy to give it–even though  I sometimes feel inadequate when they ask me for advice about a particular destination that I’ve never visited.  In those cases, I try to provide them with links to other online resources that may better be able to answer their questions than I can. But often, I can answer their question in generalities, because many aspects of solo travel are transferable from destination to destination.

I thought you might be interested in reading a couple of the questions I’ve gotten in the past few months and my replies.  For the sake of privacy, I am leaving out any information that might identify the person asking the question.

Q: I am scheduled to travel to Negril, Jamaica this summer, solo for the first time.  I guess I am a bit nervous for various reasons but I need a vacation so I am going! I am leaving behind my [children] for the first time.  I’ve been to Jamaica several times but never alone. I love it but I am thinking I’ll be lonely and bored at times.  Also, I am not quite sure where to stay because the security may not be as great in those off hotels on the beach which is what I was thinking.  Not sure if you’ve been to Jamaica, but any advice you can give on how to keep myself busy (when busy is all I know at home) and not be bored would be helpful.

SF:  I’ve never been to Jamaica, but I’ve been to beach vacation areas and I understand your concern.  Chances are, as a busy mom, you probably need to relax and do nothing, but it’s always hard to get used to that at first. Bring a good book or two for reading, book a massage, bring your camera and focus on taking pictures of the beautiful beaches, sunsets, etc. that you see.  Be sure to bring a journal to write in (you can write it to your children). Book a couple of day tours to some sites that interest you (I understand there are some nice waterfall areas in Jamaica).  This serves the dual purpose of keeping you active and helping you to meet other people, in case you start getting lonely.  Do you know how to snorkel or scuba dive? Have you ever gone parasailing?  Now might be a good chance to try those things.  I like to create an itinerary for my days that will keep me busy if I do get bored, but then once I’m there, if I don’t feel like doing anything but laze around all day, I can chuck the itinerary.  It’s my safety net.

Resorts oftentimes have planned activities to help you keep busy–yoga classes, dancing, beach volleyball, etc.  I don’t know what the resorts in Jamaica offer, but that’s something to keep in mind if you’re afraid you’ll be bored. Good luck, and have a great vacation!

Q: I am recently separated after many years, with a limited budget. I’m finding weekends incredibly long & lonely.  I would like to find inexpensive weekend getaways in my area that would get me out of the house and socializing.  Thanks.

SF: [Brief remark on the region where she lives, and how I am unfamiliar with it.]  Destination is almost secondary to experience when you’re talking about solo travel.  Just pick a place that sounds interesting to you (within reasonable driving distance) where there is plenty to keep you busy (this will require some research). My personal experience has been that if you’re prone to feeling lonely anyway (such as after a breakup), the loneliness will especially creep up on you when you have more unstructured time on your hands. (Hence, the reason why weekends are so lonely for you.)  When you travel, you should have a strategy for keeping busy and meeting people (even if you decide once you’re there that you’re perfectly comfortable being alone).  If the place you’re visiting offers any free walking tours, try one.  It’s a good way to meet people!

With summer coming up, there might be some interesting festivals and events going on within driving distance of you.  Finding some that interest you might be a good place to start.  Look for cheap accommodations in the area; B&Bs might provide you with more socializing, but they tend to be a bit more expensive than say, a chain motel. You need to decide which is more important to you.

Do you belong to any social clubs or hobbyist groups? Now is a good time to start.  Often, if you socialize with others who have a similar hobby/passion, you learn about regional and national events around those hobbies/interests which might present you with an opportunity to get away for a weekend.  I have a friend who belongs to a local line-dancing group, and travels some weekends to regional line-dancing events.  She has a blast doing this.  I have some more ideas in this article on Theme Travel (that is, taking advantage of travel to pursue a passion).

Another thing to look out for is something you can do in the evening. Nighttime is when the solo traveler feels most lonely. So bonus points if the destination you choose has a playhouse, symphony, movie theater, comedy club, or a neat little jazz club where you can go hang out in the evening.

Do you have friends or family who live in different cities whom you haven’t seen in a while?  Going to visit them could also be a great excuse to get away for the weekend–and reconnect with people who are important to you.

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Yes, I know, visiting family and friends doesn’t really count as solo travel, but I thought it was good advice anyway, given the circumstances.  I also didn’t touch upon the budget issue too much, because I doubted there would be any hostels in the areas where she would be traveling, nor did she strike me as the hostel type.  She’s already keeping costs down by choosing weekend getaways over week-long getaways and places within driving distance so she doesn’t have to fly somewhere.

Notice that in both cases, there is an underlying concern about loneliness.  Yet both women are determined to travel anyway.  I am so proud of them for that.  I was impressed that the single mom recognized her need for some R&R away from her kids; it didn’t mean she wouldn’t miss her children, but she realizes that she needs to take care of herself, too.  And I can empathize with the woman who just went through the breakup, and I hope that she finds, as so many of us have, that solo travel is a balm that heals a wounded soul.

Is there any additional advice you would offer either of these newbie solo travelers?

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.