If you’ve never traveled solo, what’s stopping you? Is it fear that you might be lonely? Do you have an image in your mind’s eye of the solo traveler being a lonely figure in a windswept landscape, like Heathcliff on the moors? Here’s a reality check: Solo travel isn’t lonely. Not most of the time, anyway.
It can be a relief to get away from the people in your life for a little while, along with the demands they place on you. It’s a good opportunity for introspection and stepping outside your comfort zone. Or for just lazing on a beach with a good book. But there are no rules that say you must spend your entire trip isolated from other human beings. I like exploring cities. But even if you don’t, eventually, you’re going to want a little human interaction. Then what do you do?
A few ways to meet new friends and have conversations on the road include:
- Take an organized tour – I met a new friend on a cemetery tour in New Orleans and we wound up having both lunch and dinner together.
- Initiate conversations with people–while standing in line, sitting at a restaurant bar, on the bus, or just walking down the sidewalk. Ask for advice on a good restaurant, the best way to get to another town, anything. People love to give advice.
- Depending on your travel destination, wearing an article of clothing with the name of your home state, country or favorite sports team can be a great conversation starter. (When I wear my University of Vermont sweatshirt, Vermont fans come out of nowhere to talk to me.)
- Connect with other travelers where you’re staying. This is easier at a hostel or Bed and Breakfast Inn, but even big hotels usually have a bar where you can mingle with others.
I like to hedge my bets and arrange social time before I even leave on my trip. I have mentioned before that I use online travel communities to do this. Twitter, Tripadvisor, and other travel or special interest forums are good places to start. Just check to see who else will be in your destination when you are and see if they want to meet up (in a public place, of course) for a drink, meal or activity. Want some real life examples of whether this works or not? Read on.
I’m a member of OpenVegas, an online community for Vegas fans. Last year during my annual Las Vegas trip, I attended a meet and made several new friends there, so I was happy to attend one this year, too. I met “jasonargo” and “Nashdale” at the Triple 7 Brewpub at Main Street Station. I didn’t know what to expect, since I hadn’t had any interactions with either of them on the forum. But it was an enjoyable hour or so. I sat and sipped my microbrew while they had dinner, and we talked about our stays in Vegas so far. Jasonargo was a wealth of gambling knowledge about where to find the best odds in town, and Nashdale, an Australian, filled us in on his adventures in the U.S. It was a great opportunity to have a conversation with people I otherwise would not have.
Me with JoAnna Haugen of Kaleidoscopic Wandering. Photo by Cory Haugen.
Later in the week, I met with travel blogger JoAnna Haugen of KaleidoscopicWandering.com, who lives in Vegas. I knew JoAnna from Twitter and the Travel Blog Exchange (TBEX). Neither of us could attend the TBEX conference in Chicago in July, so I thought it might be fun to have our own mini-TBEX, minus the expert panelists. She was kind enough to come to the Strip to meet me for coffee at the Starbucks at Treasure Island.
When JoAnna first walked into Starbucks, I went to shake her hand, and instead, she hugged me. I was completely won over by her warm personality. We spent the next two and a half hours chatting about writing and blogging, social media, Burning Man, and JoAnna’s recent career move. It was such a pleasure to take a break from the frenetic pace of Vegas to have a leisurely conversation with someone who feels as passionately about both travel and writing as I do. I was impressed with her fearlessness at diving headfirst into a freelance writing career. She said something that has resonated with me ever since: “If not me, who? If not now, when?” Listening to her was like facing my own version of Frost’s “Road Not Taken.” JoAnna is doing what I always thought as a young college writing major that I would do with my life, but somehow, never did. She inspired me. That wasn’t a conversation I ever thought I’d have in a city like Las Vegas, and it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t connected with her online.
If your fear of loneliness is the only thing preventing you from traveling, then going on tours, chatting with people as the opportunity arises, finding ways to draw people to you for conversation, and using social media to pre-arrange meetings around common areas of interest are just a few things you can do to socialize during your travels. These aren’t empty tips. As you can see from the examples above, they really work. Don’t forget, too, that technology is our friend. You can always call or text someone back home to describe an awesome meal or gorgeous sunset or funny encounter with a local. Just remember that life is short, and there are places you want to visit. Don’t let fear of loneliness stop you from going alone. And ask yourself “If not me, who? If not now, when?”
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