The Social Solo Traveler

Welcome back! You seem to like this blog. Why not share your favorite articles with your friends on Facebook and/or give it a Stumble? Thanks!

When I tell people that I travel alone, I often get one of two reactions:  “Wow, you are so brave!” or “Aren’t you lonely?”  I don’t consider myself especially brave, but if you want to, that’s cool with me.  I did worry about loneliness before I finally decided to just go by myself.  Now I realize you don’t have to be lonely just because you’re traveling alone.   Take my recent visit to Vegas for example.  I had a blast meeting new people every day.  It didn’t just happen, though.  I had to make it happen.  Here’s how I did it.

As I have mentioned ad nauseum by now, I attended the closing festivities of Star Trek: The Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton on the first day of my trip. I knew I’d be able to find people to chat with there, since we all had something in common–our love for Star Trek.  To hedge my bets, though, I checked out an online Star Trek message forum (the TrekBBS.com) that I regularly read to see if others from the board were planning on being there.  So I knew ahead of time that if worse came to worse and I wasn’t naturally meeting people, I could always be on the lookout for certain people from the board and just go up and introduce myself (which I did).  I needn’t have worried.

I met another Trekkie before I even got on my plane to Vegas, while waiting at JFK.  We just happened to be chatting before the plane began to board, and I asked her if she was going to Vegas on business or vacation.  She told me she was going for the Decommissioning Ceremony, and I told her I was, too.  This immediately created a connection, and we made plans to hang out later that night at the Hilton.  On the way to dinner, she met and struck up a conversation with a father and his son, and we all wound up having dinner together.  Later, at Quark’s, I chatted with some folks in the bar, and while waiting for the Decommissioning Ceremony to begin, I chatted with still more folks.  I didn’t feel in the least bit lonely.

Weeks before I left on my trip, I spent a lot of time on some Vegas message boards that I frequent.  On one, someone else set up a meet during the week I was going to be there.  I immediately said I’d go. On another board, I arranged the meet.  I’ve been on both boards often enough to know meets happen frequently, and both forums draw decent people.  On Tuesday, I met at the Peppermill Lounge with ten other regulars from the OpenVegas forum.  I had been emailing back and forth with another woman from the group prior to the meet, so I almost felt like I knew her before I even showed up.  The eleven of us were a geographically diverse bunch, including a woman who is a local realtor in Vegas, my email friend and her husband from Indiana, two men from Canada (who were not together), one from Kentucky, a couple from New Jersey and a couple from England.  It was great fun meeting them all.  I was there for two hours–some left earlier, some later–and was able to chat at least a little bit with almost everyone.  Some of us have stayed in touch via email after the meet as well.

I scheduled a mini-meet on Wednesday for a handful of us from the Vegas Watch forum at the Tequila Bar at Ballys.  This was a smaller group–a woman from Texas, a couple from Virginia, and me–but it was equally fun chatting and getting to know each other.  We shared tips on hotels, restaurants and shows, what we’d done so far, and who was winning (or not, as the case may be).

But my socializing didn’t begin and end with planned meets.  I also chatted with people in elevators, bartenders, and people sitting next to me at bars.  Okay, reality check:  I’m sure some of you introverts and shy people out there are thinking “Oh, but you’re obviously an extrovert.  I could never do that.”  I have a little secret for you:  I am a lifelong introvert.  Speaking to strangers does not come naturally to me.  I used to avoid parties like the plague.  I had to train myself to do this, and in the process, I discovered I actually LIKED it.  I like meeting new people.  I like hearing about their lives.  It’s FUN.  Who knew?

Getting back to the topic at hand, it’s been my experience that people are more apt to initiate conversation with me when I’m traveling alone, probably because they feel solos are more approachable.  (When you’re traveling with friends or family, you often come across as a self-contained unit, needing no one else’s company but your own.)  But if they don’t say anything first, I will.  The best way to get a conversation going is to find someone who looks approachable and ask a question.  (Don’t make it a yes or no question, or that may be all you get.)  Ask their opinion about something, ask for advice on a good restaurant for dinner, or whatever seems appropriate to the setting.

If “on the fly” socializing doesn’t sound good to you, you might consider booking  a group tour with a travel agency.  Then you’ve got a built-in social group to hang with.  But if you just want company once in awhile, and you can plan ahead, become a member of an online travel forum to your preferred destination and try to schedule a meal or a drink or an activity with others who are living in or traveling to that region at the same time you are there. (Just be sure you take the usual safety precautions and meet them in a public place.)

A pre-trip strategy, an approachable demeanor, and some friendliness go a long way towards warding off loneliness on a solo trip.  You may  even make some good friends in the process.  Cheers!

Interested in long-term solo travel, but not sure where to start? You can now buy The Art of Solo Travel: A Girl’s Guide by Stephanie Lee, which contains all the basic information you need to get started on your long-term solo journey. Read my review of the book here.